Tell tale signs of sexual abuse .
79As a survivor of child sexual abuse I have made it my mission to help other people in the same situation because sexual abuse can have devastating effects on the child their family and friends, this must stop. We have the power to do just that, you might not believe that but we really do because when you are reading this hub you will find you may be a survivor or know someone who've been through this or after reading this have more knowledge to suspect a person you know of being sexually abused .
As most people know a sexual abuse survivor or victim still being abused are usually not going to come forward and tell you, especially males and little children but there will be tell tale signs which we can look for but please understand I'm no expert but I have been through this and I have had counselling and I have done my research on this subject so I can help other people deal with this issue. In some cases no signs are visible so as a parent or child care etc sometimes we have to trust our gut instinct or as they call it mothers intuition because the earlier we can detect this the better for the person or child to receive help from different agencies .
BEHAVIORAL INDICATORS
Unusual interest in and/or knowledge of sexual activity, inappropriate to the child's age, promiscuity, seductive behavior, change in personal hygiene habits, excessive or lack of cleanliness, weight change, change in appetite, sleep disturbances, bed-wetting, nightmares, depression, anger, irritability, reluctance to go home or other places, avoidance of certain people and places, inappropriate dress such as tight or revealing clothing, overdressing wearing many layers of clothing regardless of weather, sexual drawings or stories. It may even become noticeable in their school work for example they might have very or overly descriptive topics on a sexual nature, these may or may not be picked up by the teacher so it is always a good idea to go over school homework with your child and ask them questions about the topic that they are writing about. This can become a great avenue to open communication lines between the two of you.
PHYSICAL INDICATORS
Pregnancy, venereal disease, trauma to the mouth, genitals or rectum, bleeding, torn or blood stained clothing, excessive masturbatory behavior, attempts to touch adults, children's or animal's genitals.
These are just some of the signs of sexual abuse but of course every person is different. With mine I was very much a loner didn't make friends I couldn't stand to be around other men I would get really uncomfortable around a lot of men like pubs or sporting events. My school work suffered and my sex life and relationships suffered as well. I couldn't commit to anyone for that meant letting them know about my past and I was always scared of their reaction. That and I didn't trust enough to stay with anybody.
THE SILENT CHILD.. CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
- Child Abuse and Neglect:
Each year, tens of thousands of children are traumatized by physical, sexual, and emotional abusers or by caregivers who neglect them, making child abuse as common as it is shocking. The scars can be deep and long-lasting, affecting not just abused c
Dont-be-afraid-of-the-dark
- http://hubpages.com/hub/Dont-be-afraid-of-the-dark
As a victim of sexual abuse one fears the world and everything in it and often the light in every day never appears . Imagine a world full of blackness and full of pain a world where you can't find an escape
Sexual-Abuse-intimacy
- http://hubpages.com/hub/Sexual-Abuse-intimacy
As survivors of sexual abuse the problems with intimacy with a spouse or partner is extremely important . Many survivors suffer a variety of problems with their sex lives and its no wonder sexual abuse is not only a betrayal of our human trust and af
males sexually abused
- http://hubpages.com/hub/male-sexual-trauma
Being a victim of sexual abuse is a life changing event especially when you are a young child . We are so young and innocent and easy to take advantage of .
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thank you Andrew .
Thank you for sharing this info--we should all be informed of what to keep an eye out for.
a well constructed and informative article.
Thank you for your coments I appericate it .
Wonderfully written article. Bless you.
thank you
Great Article, it covers a lot of information! Very well written. As a survivor of sexual abuse as well I would like to hear your thougts on an article I just wrote for HUB pages:http://hubpages.com/hub/goodsex Thanks,April
Thanks for your comments April D I will check out your hub forsure .
Good to see you continue to inform people about this issue. Maybe one child searching the Internet who is abused will find this hub and find the courage to tell someone. Kudos to you.
Thanks Sweetie pie yes that is my main of writting these hubs to help other people .
You know, I was rescently pulled aside at school by the counselor, and asked if my daughter was being sexually abused... (She is six years old, and has a weak bladder, and RARELY leaves my side, besides to go to school) She kept having accidents in gym class... Now I understand why they asked me... I was honestly offended at first, but I realize it's their job...
The reason I was offended, (I think) is because I was what you call: "Date-Raped" when I was only five days past 13 years old... I did not tell a soul until I was 20... And I have told my story to my oldest daughter, who will be 12 in May... I told her so she would know that she could tell me if something like this ever happened to her... Although I think I am "over-protective" of her, (and my other children as well) because of this reason... Rape is so totally uncalled for... especially when there are SO many willing people out there... I read new headlines everyday, and it turns my stomach. My biggest fear now, is having this happen to my children...
I, now, am not afraid of men... I have come to be a very strong-willed person from the experiences I have had in my 31 years so far... I just hope my daughters (and son) realize that they have nothing to fear of coming to me for help... I am constantly talking to my kids. Making my kids aware that there is sickness out there...not just kindness. I am very real with my kids and I teach them my knowledge every day.
Thank you for publishing this hub mulder. We have much in common.
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I'm not a victim of abuse, but through CASA's training, I understand rape to be more about power for the rapist than sex. Would you agree with that statement, or do you feel it's more about sexual desire?
I have one more question that may be a bit controversial. Do you think a pedophile can be cured? I find myself in a difficult position with this one. I have a very firm belief in an answer to that, but our state does not necessarily agree with me. We struggle over this in court proceedings fairly regularly. I was curious as to how a victim to such a person would view this. It may be too touchy of a subject, though.
thank you MamaDragonfly2677 I'm have the same fear the fear of someone molesting my children I have 3 young children but you cant let ruin your life you sound like a fantastic mum your kids are very lucky to have you and you are doing everything right to protect them .
take care .
Thanks mulder. That makes me feel good to hear that...
ProudMom- Have you ever watched the movie...I think it's called "The Woodsman" with Kevin Bacon? If not, I will tell you to watch it... It will answer your question.
No. I haven't. I'll have to check it out.
I am pretty sure that is the name of it... I watched it, and it was hard to understand, but it is from the pediphile's POV... And I believe it is based on a true story...
some good questions proud mum I'm not an expert I'm afraid I have only learnt from my own experence as a survivor of sexual abuse . for for first questions i would have say its both power over the victim and also sexual desire .
The second question I would say no because I still belive in back of the mind a pedophile is thinking about abusing a child even though they have help like counselling or even jail etc they still thinks about doing it again and the proof is out there many pedophile are repeat offenders I would trust them for a second . Just my thoughts
Well, I made it very clear to my director that I would not ever recommend a child be put back in a home with someone who abused them sexually. Unfortunately, the state feels that if they go through some rigourous program, they will prove they are willing to change and would be acceptable guardians again. I have fought this tooth and nail. The judge knows what I'm going to say before I get up EVERY TIME! It's a very frustrating battle.
I will definitely have to check out that movie, mamadragonfly.
Thank you again, Mulder for sharing such a personal story. You have, no doubt, helped an uncountable number of people with your advocacy, I'm sure.
No problem ProudMom... Are you a lawyer?
unreal proud mum we have the same prob rem in Australia our child protection agency have put children in custody with know sex offenders and when the child gets abused or even killed they all duck for cover the best defence is the media get the media involved I bet if the media heard about your situation they will all duck for cover to and maybe change the situation or get in touch with oprah or the o reilly factor Bill oreilly hates pedophiles with a passion . Its been a hard journey proud mum but I'm just glad I'm help other people in my situation .
I think you're a very impressive person, mulder. MamaDragonfly, too.
Aww. Thanks. And I have come to enjoy you both also! Almost like I have known you a while, instead of only thru the net...
Thanks for sharing the information in the hub. As a survivor yourself, you are certainly in an excellent position to educate on this issue.
Thank you Sara I appericate it .
Really good you've commented on some of the big signs, i think the people that really need to know the signs are teachers as their the aside from ones parents who kids can talk to
Thank you Tiff .
I don't get abused but that video made me cry.
I have to do a speech on child abuse as a decision.
Omqq Ii am Doinq a Speech On Child && Sexual Abuse Ii am Definetly showinqq Thisz.);
wow cant belive it
Great story love u
thank you Diana .
Looking for help to change the law or even the curts and have no idea how.
I'm reeling from the impact of your hub and that footage, oh my I just want to rescue that poor child and do dreadful things to her "daddy".
My hub How emotional and sexual abuse effected me and my son. Can my story help you avoid my mistakes?
which I just published I hope may help some people too!
There are just too many sickos out there, little justice for victims and little sentences which can be forgotten.
The old fashioned notion that a criminal record of any type effects your future...it just isn't so. When I contact people on our perpetrators network and inform them of the conviction, I get no response or a response that on legal advice they want no contact with ME!
Protected perpetrators, damaged forgotten victims!
Thank you linda H for you comments .
I'm having problems well i have been getting touched by my dad it been going on for awhile now he would touch me and tell me to suck on his dick or jack him off or he will come to my room and stick his dick inside of me till he got off i have to get this to stop i'm sacred i been trying to tell my mom she dont think it is true and thinks i going crazy i need some help i cant trust anybody and all the time i just wanna kill myself and he keeps doing it to me what should i do
you must be strong I know its hard are legal age to move out ? Is there anyone you can trust to tell most parent s and people are denial they dont want to believe it you could go the police it could help you you should ring sexual assault help centre most of dont do anything sill you are not alone in this you free to contact me anytime
I was sexually abused and deemed gay by my father, after some years of counselling i am turing a corner. please read my story.
Andrew 3 years ago
Very intresting read dean as always thanks for all the advice