reporting a sexual abuse to the police
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As a survivor of sexual abuse this has to be the hardest thing to reporting the abuse to the police, and to be totally honest most people don't especially men or like me report the abuse a lot later on in life. It depends on the person or the parents or Guardian's of child victims. As we know court cases for sexual assault can be very horrific and emotional for anyone, lets not kid ourselves. I believe you shouldn't force a person to go through this, they have to do it for the right reasons but what are the right reasons. A lot of victims are angry and hurt and want justice, I know I wanted to punch my attacker in the head but that's just me I'm over that bit now if you want compensation you will have to go to court. I'm afraid its all very daunting I know but believe me I've been through this so it can be done sometimes you have to bite the bullet and face your fears and please you are not alone in this. Your decision may not be to report the abuse to the police or you may decide to do it later in life know this in most countries there is no time limit to reporting the abuse I know it's so in Australia but of course the longer you leave it the harder for the conviction
1. If you are over eighteen it is your choice whether you report a sexual assault or sexual abuse to the police.
2. There is no time limit for when you can make a report it doesn't make a difference if it happened 2 days ago or 20 years ago. However, the sooner you report the better, because it may be harder for the police to get enough evidence to lay charges as time passes.
3. If you decide to report to the police, it is a good idea to talk to people you trust beforehand to get support.
4. You can ask for a female police officer if your a woman if that will make you feel more comfortable.
5. You can take a support person with you, but they cannot speak on your behalf.
6. Making a statement can take several hours. You can ask for a break whenever you need to.
7. Police will take a written statement. They will ask a lot of questions including some which may seem strange to you and some that may be upsetting. The police ask questions to help them gather evidence, they need the information to be very detailed so they can pin the event down to a time and person. You may not be able to remember all of the details. If you don't remember, be honest and tell the police what you can remember.
8. Sexual assault is a crime against the-State: This means that you cannot "press charges". The police will decide if there is enough evidence to press charges. You then become a witness to the crime.
9. It can take a while (up to two years and sometimes more) after you make a statement to the police before charges are laid and the case goes to court.
10. Many cases do not go to court. Criminal charges must be proven "beyond reasonable doubt". That means the court must be convinced that the person is guilty.
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Dont hide in the dark /abuse.trauma
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Hi Mulder sorry I forgot to say keep the hubs coming.
Jenny
thank you Jenny for your comments yes these mongrels shouldnt get away with it I hope this hub can help other people like myself as well in fact yes this is a healing time for me its all good .
I will thanks for your support
Dean
Mulder You really are at the forefront when it comes to raising awareness on these painful and shameful criminals. Shame, fear , peer pressure tend to keep such issues under wraps. Not to mention it is often a relative or close family friend who is the abuser. The psychological harm done to victims is incalculable.
Great but painful hub.
thank you Sixtyorso yes I guess I made my mission in life to help other people who though this because I have found not much is said about this and sometimes you have come out and say enough is enough Im here to help people get though it hopefully .
Yes, sexual abuse is a demon that causes too much mental and emotional suffering. I work in the jail and correctional system in Grants Pass, Oregon. I can't tell you how many so called criminals have been abused in their life time. Please also see my new approach to self-help, recovery, and healing. Sincerely: Gary Eby, author and therapist.
Not sure if this happens on bisexuals more. I have a bisexual friend from the site BiLoves. She told me she got that before.
This is never an easy subject to discuss, whether a person is abused or not. To have been the victim, it is much harder an issue to discuss, or even deal with. It takes a special strength to do both, and to be able not only to speak out, but to help others is amazing. You have a strength that few people possess. I applaud you and hope you continue to inform those who need to tap into their own inner strength.
thank you for your comment it must be hard for you qlcoach to work in that kind of enviorment and yes what you see is a snowball of sexual abuse Im afraid .
Cellinda im sure it happens too anyone gay bi straight it dosent matter sexual abuse .rape always rears it ulgy head .
Hi Michelle yes this not easy subject to discuss but I get my inner strengh from my mum who was a brave fighter who died of breast cancer a couple of years ago my mum never quit fighting so will I.
Mulder,
It is very brave of you to speak out on a topic that has to be extremely upsetting to you. I was stunned when I read some of what went on in "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo", because it's so hard to believe people that sick and twisted walk among us. I thought my review might raise awareness more. Your words help other people who may be afraid to speak out. Bless you.
You would be surprised by the amount of abusers who don't think they are doing anything wrong when they take advantage of someone in a sexual way. It happened to me once, a long time ago.(spare the details) I was pretty shaken up, but, it was something that just happened so fast, that by the time I wanted to scream out don't do that! He did what he wanted and went on his way.
I didn't report it, because I figured it was probably my fault. And, there were other people in the picture who told me not to say or do anything about it, and just let it go. Unfortunately, this kind of stuff happens among gay men all the time. I guess they call it date rape, only the guy in question was not my date, he was just there, and I didn't even know him.
So, just because you are in a place with people you know, doesn't mean that there might be someone else to worry about. I sure learned to watch my back after that. It will certainly never happen to me again. Thank god.
The ones I feel most sorry for are children, they would never know it was coming, and have no clue that they need to protect themselves, even though there is plenty of talk about their safety, most still don't get it.
Very sad subject. Brought back bad memories. Oh well.
thank you for your comments Jean this why I wrote this hub to help other people like myself .
you are so right brimancandy I felt the same way I was ashamed of myself I thought it was my fault to .I wish you all the best on your healing journey .
I was molested when I was 8 years old, and am now 47. The man that molested me is my dads brother, and he runs around now, free as a bird, and acts like nothing ever happened. I have carried this ever since I was a child, and I just dont know what to do, or even who to report it too if I did want to do something
Oh no Rick I cant imagine your pain have you had counselling ? that sometimes help and can advise you on what to do feel free to contact me if need any help .
I was 10yrs old when my abuser took me swimming one day and started fingering me. When I was 11 he actually stuck his penis in me. I am now 20yrs old and can tell that the incident has really effected my life.. I don't know if I should go to the police or is it to late??
I was abused 8 years ago and want to take the person to court. I have already filed a report but the person went free. Is there anything else I can do?
its never to late it does affect your life have got some counselling to help you of course the longer you leave it the harder it is to get a conviction .
i'm not really sure if the case is strong you could try a civil suit ? how disappointing for you .
Thanks for the quick reply, Mulder. Yes, I have received counseling. I am also at a point in my life where the abuse does not affect me as much. I can azure you it was very disappointing. I was nine at the time of the abuse. I'm sure you would agree with me when I say that it is very frightening for a child to talk to the please about such things. It also left me with drained confidence. Now that I'm older, all I am is mad at the man that did this to me. I want justice. I think your article is very inspiring. Thank-you for posting. I am going to try to see what I can do to put this person away. I do not want him to hurt anyone else. It is very sad to think he will go free for what he did. I am wondering what the steps to actually taking this case to court would involve. It would be terrifying for me to have to sit in the same room as this monster. Also, since there is no longer any evidence, would there be any point in trying to do this?
i USED TO BABYSIT FOR MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR, WHEN I WAS 14, HE LED ME UPSTAIRS ONE TIME TO SHOW ME HIS 2 AND 4 YEAR OLD CHILDREN SLEEPING, THEN HE PULLED ME TIGHTLY TOWARDS HIM AND STARTED KISSING ME. i PUSHED HIM AWAY AND RAN DWN THE STAIRS AND HE SAID, "DNT TELL MY WIFE WILL YOU". i AM NOW 50 AND AM LIVING BACK IN THE SAME HOUSE NEXT DOOR TO THE SAME NEIGHBOURS WHO ARE NOW IN THEIR EIGHTY'S. bECAUSE HE USED TO STARE AT ME SUNBATHING OUT THE BACK WHEN i WAS YOUNG I DNT WANT HIM TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT TO MY DAUGHTER i JUST WANTED TO BLOCK HIM OUT WHEN WE GO OUT THE GARDEN. i WAS THERE THE OTHER DAY WITH A MEASURING TAPE BECAUSE THE WALL IS ONLY 5FT HIGH AND I WANT TO HIGHER IT TO 6FT, AND THEY BOTH LOOK OVER ALL THE TIME. THEY BOTH CAME OUT COMPLAINING SAYING THEY WONT ALLOW THE FENCE TO GO UP TO 6FT, THEY WERE QUITE NASTY ABOUT IT. i JUST WANTED TO SAY TO HIM " I REMEMBER YOU WAT YOU DID AND i WANT MY PRIVACY, BUT i COULNT. i JUST HATE SEEING HIM ALTHOUGH I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG. THEY ARE ALWAYS BACK AND FOR CHECKING WHAT WERE DOING I JUST WANT TO BLOCK HIM AND HIS NASTY WIFE OUT AND SIT IN MY GARDEN IN PRIVACY.
SHOULD I SAY SOMETHING TOHIM OR IS IT TOO LATE. ITS GETTING ME DOWN.
you know its never to late to report or do anything if its going make you feel better reporting it do it
I know its a very long time ago, i was very quiet and shy when i was that age, still am to some extent. I don,t know if I could cope with all the trouble, all I want is to block him and his nasty wife out and get on with my life. The thing is it was a long time ago he will just deny it dn't you think? Its not a very serious assault compared to others that i have read about on here but i still remember and i cringe when i see him although i'm older now. I,m afraid that if I put the fence up, the wife is so nasty that they would poison my two beautiful cats that i love very much.
What should i do?
I cant imagine how hard it is for you the thing is just try to forget this mongrel and enjoy your life karma will get then in the end and focus on enjoying your life . maybe get some counselling to it will really help you and please feel free to email me if want to talk and take care of you .
Thankyou for listening.
you are welcome
Hi there ! I found your hub really interesting, informative, & it's so great to find some information about sexual assault & rape in Australia. I was date raped by my first boyfriend at the age of 16 - he had sex with me when I was unconcious after drinking too much. I argued with him about it the next morning and he told me it was my fault for drinking that much. I tried to get advice from my mum, who told me to expect things like that when you go out with men. the thing is, I blocked it out, & only started remembering it a few years ago. I am 42 now. My life has been a constant struggle with self-esteem, drug & alcohol issues - that's just the beginning. And I know this guy now has a family, a home, & a successful business. I am trying to sort out whether or not I can report what happened to me - to the police, & whether this is going to be helpful for my own peace of mind ??? thanks for your courage !!! Melissa
i cant imagine what you went though bbellydance but thank you for your post I hope it helps you its not an easy road but but feel free to contact me if you need any help .
DreamOn 3 years ago
Hi Mulder thanks again for being the voice for so many people children and men and women who have been abused in such a terrible way. I know it must be hard for you at time to write the words you do. I hope this is a very healing time in your life. The people who commit these crimes are not only cruel bullies of the worst caliber they are also thieves. The steal the innocence of children the dreams of parents and sometimes the lives of those they abuse. It is a heneous crime and the shock waves are felt deep within the fibres of humanity. Bless you for speaking out. You are a very courageous person.
Jenny